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I don't know. Any tips?
I do know that a scripture that many find encouraging, Proverbs 22:6, is actually the opposite of what most people think.
Good morning.
Welcome to the Morning Motivation brought to you by the Public Square and Patriot Gold Group. A little late with the Morning Motivation, Slater. I'm on vacation this week and I always have such high expectations for my productivity during vacation. I was like, oh, I have way more time to do everything and it just never happens. The whole show, commercial free and with the transcript is on Mike Slater locals calm Today's morning motivation is a little bit different more of a dear diary Edition I was gonna do another thing another topic but Tie breaker, I think goes to the thing that's personal so we have four kids six five three and eight months and I think we did a really good job parenting from zero to five. From an outsider's perspective, good kids, good parents, good parenting, good job. We took a parenting course at our church from wonderful elders who have wonderful kids, and we just did what they did. And it worked. And I fell into a trap, and the trap was with our first kid, Jack, he's six, thinking I could program him to be a certain way. It's my big mistake with our first kid. And if I just input this into the machine, then he will output as that.
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Make sense?
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Do this, and then he will end up this. And that's just not how people are. And I've made a lot of mistakes. Now Jack's almost seven and this parenting course was really for zero to five. And I was like, well, that's been going well and let's just keep going. And I never really course corrected to take into account the fact that he's not a little baby anymore. Jack is, I believe the official term is, a strong-willed child. And when he was three, I could handle it. Now he's six, and he's more defiant and more rude and more disrespectful. And minor course corrections can't fix this. We've tried many. Whatever I could come up with in my own sinful brain hasn't worked, and it can easily do more harm than good. And in my disciplining of Jack, I don't want to crush his soul. That's like he has fire, and I want to channel it without crushing his soul. And I read all this stuff about how kids who are strong willed like it's, there's goodness there. It's like, they're going to be great leaders, and they're never going to give up in life. They, they're like, know what's right, so justice is important to them. And they can be extremely successful and entrepreneurial and all these, and very loyal, all these great things, or their dad can crush their soul. And I don't want that, and I need your help. Truly. So I go back to Proverbs 22.6. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it." And that's such an encouraging scripture on the surface. You've heard it before. Train up the child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. What does that mean? It's one of these verses that's thrown around, and it's vague enough. It's positive enough on the surface where you're like, oh yeah, okay, good, yeah, I'm doing great, but it's like vague enough where it can mean anything. And it sounds like a promise? Train up the child in the way he should go, and when he's old, he won't depart from it. It's a promise. Like, do the right thing. Raise your kid with Scripture, and then he won't depart from it, right? Sounds like a promise, but it's actually a warning. There's a book, God's Wisdom in Proverbs, by Dan Phillips. Let's see what you think of this. He says the literal Hebrew, literal, says, Initiate for the child on the mouth of his way. Even when he is old, he will not turn from it. I need some work. So that doesn't make sense. Initiate for the child on the mouth of his way. Why? So, the first verb means to train up, initiate, give direction for life. Maybe the best definition is to dedicate. It's in the Bible a couple of the times that word, and it means to dedicate. So, early instruction for children. You want to dedicate them, put them on a certain path. But for what? Like initiate for what? In the way he should go is how that verse is often translated. The problem is the literal translation is on the mouth of his way, which is an old Hebrew way of saying according to his will. So we translate it as in the way he should go, but the word should is not there. The literal meaning is according to his will, whose will, not God's. In the New American Standard Bible, they put a footnote right there. The footnote says literally, according to his way. This is not some random, weird thought here. This is scholarship. in the way he should go. But it really says, according to his way.
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Whose way?
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Not God's. The kid's way. And the child's way. The child's sinful, selfish, foolish way. So if you train him up in his way, meaning if you let him do what he wants to do, Solomon said, foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, Proverbs 22, 15. So if you raise him up to do whatever he wants to do, then what will happen? He will not depart from it. So in the words of Josh Nieme, some examples, if you indulge your child's greed, he'll grow up to be a money-grubbing con artist. If you cater to your child's impulsiveness, you just watch her zip through credit cards like a hot knife through butter. If you allow your child to do chores only when he feels like it, well, he'll wind up only going to work when he feels like
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it.
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If you ignore your child's laziness, he'll grow up to ignore the needs of everyone else around him. If you let your child lay around the house, he'll end up never leaving the house. Fail to teach your child to live within his means, and he'll wind up living in your basement. So Proverbs 22, 6, it's not a promise that if you raise them with Scripture, they'll always grow up to have Jesus be the Lord of their life and they'll never depart from it. It's a warning that if you let your child live in his sin, he'll never depart from it. He'll never depart from that. Not he'll never depart from God, he'll never depart from his sin. Isn't that amazing? It's the complete opposite. I shouldn't say it's the complete opposite, maybe. It's not a promise, it's a warning. It's a warning. Although I guess it's kind of a promise too. Not a good one though. So that being said, that scripture is not as encouraging anymore. Although maybe it is. It's like, hey, you got to get the, you got to do it. You got a parent. So what do we do with a strong-willed child? I don't know. All I've gotten so far now is praying. I feel like we've hit a rock bottom. Just need to pray. There's one reason why I didn't do this podcast last night is we were spending a good amount of time disciplining and talking with the wife about what to do here. Went late into the night. And we ended up just, all we got is prayer right now. Because God loves Jack even more than I do. It's pretty wild. So instead of focusing on Proverbs 22.6, our focus needs to be on Proverbs 6.22. My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. Bind them unto your heart always. Tie them around your neck. When you walk, they will lead you. When you lie down, they will watch over you. When you awake, they will talk with you. For the commandment is a lamp, and the teaching is light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life. Do you have any parenting advice for a strong-willed child? Slater Radio at gmail.com or MikeSlater.Locals.com. Every episode we do is up on the website, MikeSlater.Locals.com. No ads in the full transcript. No ads in the full transcript.
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